Shirley dislocated her shoulder a couple weeks ago and these have been some of the hardest days I’ve experienced. I’m not looking for sympathy, but I feel so helpless.
Shirley’s arm is immobilized to let the muscles heal and so her abilities are limited. She has some passive exercised to do, but nothing that causes pain in her shoulder is allowed. There are thing she wants to do; tries to do, but the sling reminds her not to push it. She gets frustrated with her inabilities and limitations.
I have to help her get dressed, do the cleaning, food preparation, laundry, drive her to work and pick her up… Most everything you can think of I do to help her.
So why do I feel helpless?
The one thing I want most to do I can’t. I want to heal her. I want to stop any pain or discomfort and I want to make her shoulder as well and pain free as it was before the accident. I feel helpless because that which I want the most is outside my ability to accomplish.
Sunday we’ll celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary. I’m not sure what her prayers might be but mine are to have another 40 years to try and be as good to her as she has been to me. Somehow to heal and protect her from all that frightens, discourages, hurts, attacks… from every negative thing that might come her way. I want to be the embodiment of positivity for her and bring only good things her way. That’s what she has always done for me.
If Shirley ever leaves me, I’m going with her.
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